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"You Know If You're Asian When..."
By Ryan Kwong

While we are all involved in helping to combat stereotypes of Asian people in the media and in our society, we also need to be able to laugh at ourselves.
Email us your jokes, send them to Jokes@AsianConnections.com

  1. You live in Asia.
  2. You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you.
  3. You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea.
  4. People start yelling Ni Ho Ma?
  5. People think you're Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from.
  6. At a restaurant, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
  7. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
  8. Your parents will get you into places 50% off by saying you are 12 when you are really 15.
  9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
  10. Your non Asian friends ask you how to curse in your language, to curse to other Asians.
  11. Your relatives' houses smell either like mothballs or medicine.
  12. You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and other strange smelling stuff in your medicine cabinet.
  13. You mostly listen to rap, dance and techno music/songs.
  14. Your parents owns a store like a restaurant.
  15. You've visited this site.
  16. Your mom has a short haired, curly perm.
  17. Your dad is some kind of engineer.
  18. You ask your parents for help on a math problem and 2 hours later they are still lecturing.
  19. You shop at 99 Ranch.
  20. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
  21. You've eaten parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
  22. You have painful memories of the feather duster.
  23. You dress like all your Asian friends.
  24. You get nothing when you do well in school, but you get crapped on when you don't.
  25. You have about 12 or more Aunts or Uncles.
  26. You have tiles in at least 2 rooms in your house.
  27. You've read my page up to here.
  28. Your family owns Asian Cars (Toyota).
  29. You have woven mats in your house.
  30. You shop at a Local Asian Market.
  31. Your family takes pictures everywhere they go.
  32. Your dad has the same haircut he had when he was a child.
  33. You see lots of karaoke videos with phony girls in them.
  34. Nothing matches in your house.
  35. You have a box of noodles in your house.
  36. You have a bucket full of rice in your pantry.
  37. Your dad still wears the tube of socks with the stripes.
  38. You own some kind of Video Game Machine.
  39. You either know how to break dance or knows someone who does.
  40. All your little girl relatives have the same hair style.
  41. You are usually taller than your parents once you reach puberty.
  42. You tell your parents your crisis period and they always have a story to tell you about the same situation they had been through when they were your age.
  43. You have a pair of sandals.
  44. You have had the hairstyle where you part it in the middle or still have it (mainly for males).
  45. Your parents or grandparents own a garden.
  46. Your mom wears red lipstick.
  47. You only have Asian doctors/dentists.
  48. You either know how to speak your language or don't.
  49. You make fun of your parents when they speak English.
  50. Your parents like to gamble.

AsianConnections thanks Ryan Kwong, from New York, for his jokes. To view his original web page click here.

Other Jokes:
The New "You Know If You're Asian When..." From the 1st to 1.5 Generation Perspective
You Know If You're Asian When...
Top Ten Reasons Why There Won't Be An Asian President Anytime Soon
How To Be the Perfect Asian American Parent?


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